Four Brothers
by writenow8
Summary: Raphael and Leonardo have always been competitive, but how far will they go to prove a point. Will Raph abandon his family and leave like he always said he would would? Will Leo push him this far?
1. Chapter 1: Tension

"Run!"

Leonardo shouted at his brothers as the cops began to show up. They just stopped the Purple Dragons from robbing a store and now the cops were coming to finish the job. The turtles ran to the nearest manhole and jumped in.

"That was close," Donatello said.

"Too close. We need to be more careful." Leo scolded.

"How much more careful do we need to be? We bashed the Purple Dragons and the shop owner called the cops, so what. We did our job." Raph fired at Leo.

"And that kind of hotheadedness is what's gonna get us killed _Raph! _ It's your fault in the first place that we almost got caught! You just had to beat that guy up a little more didn't you?"Leo growled as he shoved his younger brother.

Raph glared at Leo and shoved him back. As the two boys began to fight more fiercely, Michelangelo stepped in-between the two before they got too out of hand. Raph was just about to punch Leo when he saw Mikey get in the way and caught himself, his fist inches from Mikey's face.

"Mikey I told you not to that!" Raph yelled.

"Well you and Leo were fighting again! What was I suppose to do? Let you two rip each other apart?" Mikey said back.

"Yes."

"No, Thank you Mikey for being smarter than us." Leo told his youngest brother.

"No problem bro!" Mikey said accomplished.

"Shut up." Raph mumbled as he hit Mikey's head.

"Enough!" Leo said as Mikey was about to take a shot at Raph, "Let's go home and tell Master Splinter what happened and call it a night."

Mikey and Donnie followed Leo, but Raph stayed behind trying to calm himself. He knew he had a bad temper and he tried to control it, but sometimes his brothers, especially Leo, pushed him to far. Leo saw Raph and called to him, Raph took one more deep breathe and started towards his brothers.

When the turtles walked into the lair they noticed Splinter had waited for them. They took a seat in front him and Leo began to explain what had happened.

"My sons, you did well tonight. But you must me more careful so the cops do not get involved so quickly." Splinter said, Leo shot Raph a look of triumph while Raph just glared back.

"You know what this means!" Mikey shouted jumping up, "PIZZA!" Mikey ran into the kitchen to get a box.

The other turtles and Master Splinter began to eat, but Raph just got up and started heading towards his room.

"Raphael, will you not join us?" Splinter asked.

"I'm not hungry. I'm going to bed." Raph explained.

"Okay then my son, good night." Splinter said, Raph just slammed his door.

"What's wrong with him?" Mikey asked through mouthful of pizza.

"Your brother is troubled by many things, some days it is best for him to be alone and calm down." Master Splinter said still looking at Raph's door with a slightly worried, almost exhausted look on his face.

"Okay then more for me!" Mikey exclaimed not comprehending what his sensei had just said, but Leo and Donnie looked at each other with the same worried look. They both knew that Raph had a temper but what they didn't know is how far that temper could take their brother.


	2. Chapter 2: Departure

The next morning as the brothers begin to wake up and come out to eat breakfast they realize that Raph hasn't woke up yet.

"Is Raph still sleeping?" Mikey asked.

"I guess so..." Donnie replied sounding unsure.

"I'll go check on him." Leo replied and got up to go get his brother.

As he walked over to Raph's room he hoped that Raph was okay. Even though they fought Leo loved his little brother and after every fight he always regretted it. Leo knocked on Raph's door and when he didn't hear anything he opened the door.

"Raphael? You okay?" Leo said. As he opened the door completely he looked around the room and noticed that Raph wasn't in there. Leo began to panic when he noticed something on the bed, a note. Leo ran to the bed and looked at the note for a long time rereading it picking up to see there was anything else written on it, to see if there were any clues to why it was ever written, but it was useless. On Raphael's bed lay a a crisp white piece of paper with the words _I'm done_ scrawled on it in Raph's unmistakable handwriting. Nothing else, but those two words. Leo sunk to the floor still staring at the note unable to comprehend what was happening. His brother, his little brother that he would give his life for, had left. No exclamation, no good bye, just a note and an empty room. Leo couldn't help but feel that it his fault for Raph's decision. He always pushed his brother sometimes to far. Then Leo got angry. It wasn't his fault Raph left, it's Raph. Raph was the one who caused friction within the team all Leo ever tried to do was help, but Raph refused to let Leo help.

Leo's thoughts were interuted by Donnie and Mikey walking into the room.

"Where's Raphie?" Mikey asked.

"Gone." was all Leo said as he shoved the note into Donnie's hand and stormed out of the room.

Donnie and Mikey both read the paper and ran to Splinter.

"He's gone! Raph's gone!" They both yelled as they interrupted their master who was meditating.

"What?" Master Splinter asked becoming worried.

"Raph left. He left this." Donnie said handing the note to Splinter.

Splinter read it and his face became worried and upset and angry all at the same time, "Where is Leonardo?"

"In the dojo." Mikey said.

Splinter walked into the dojo with Donnie and Mikey on his heels.

"Leonardo, do you know anything about this?" Splinter asked showing Leo the note.

Leo stopped his training and looked at Splinter "What the fact that our brother left us. Yeah I know. I don't know where he is if that's what you're asking though." Leo said returning to the punching bag.

"Are you not worried!" Splinter just about yelled at Leo.

"Why should I be," Leo replied in a cool tone "Raph does what he wants and doesn't care about the consequences so I don't see why I should be worried about this decision. And plus now he can see if he really is the toughest out of us, he can face the world on his own." Leo said bitterly.

"You should care because you are a leader! And one of your teammates have left! Not only is Raphael part of your team, but he is your brother. You are the oldest and therefore should watch out for him at all times! Especially when he is far from home!" Splinter yelled at his son.

Leo stared at Master Splinter, as did Mikey and Donnie, they have never seen their sensei so angry before.

Leo looked down for a second and then looked back at Splinter who was still waiting for him to respond. "FINE!" Leo snapped "I'll worry about the guy who doesn't worry about himself, or any one else for that matter, I'll go and look for the guy who doesn't want to be found. And I'll bring him back because it's the right thing to do!" Leo yelled at his sensei. This action shocked everyone in the room, even Leo, for nobody talked back to Master Splinter let alone yell at him like that.

Leo stormed off and left the sewer to go topside to look for Raph.

Donnie and Mikey looked at each other than back at Splinter who was still staring at the place where his eldest son had just yelled at him.

"Well, we'll go join Leo." Donnie said tentatively.

"No. You shall stay here. Your brother needs time." Splinter said in a much more controlled voice now. He turned and walked back into to his room the doors closing behind.


	3. Chapter 3: Hurt

**Sorry for the late update, but here you go. :)**

Leo ran. He ran through the sewers. He ran across the buildings. He ran until his legs gave out beneath him. When this finally happened, Leo crumpled to his knees and stared at the ground for what seemed like years before he was able to form a coherent thought.

_How? _How could Raph leave them? How could he just up and leave? With no good-bye? No warning? Just a note with two simple words on it. How could his brother, his brother that Leo had loved so much, watched out for, and protected for fifteen years just turn his back on him? Sure Leo pushed him, but Raph could take it. It couldn't be Donnie's fault, Raph never really got mad at Donnie and Donnie never really got mad at Raph. Leo knew it couldn't be Mikey, they were too close. Mikey could always calm Raph down and Raph would lay down his life for Mikey. Raph couldn't be mad at their sensei, he raised them and taught them everything they know. So it had to be Leo. Something Leo did had to have set Raph off, there is no other explanation. But what? What had Leo done to upset his brother so much that Raph had to leave to get away from it.

Before Leo new it, he was crying. He was crying because Raph was gone. He was crying because he yelled at Master Splinter. He was crying because he blamed himself for Raph's leaving. He was crying because he didn't want to care about Raph right now, but he did. Now more than ever Leo cared for his brother. Leo knew he had to help Raph, but how? He had no idea where he was or how he was doing. For all he knew Raph could be-

_NO!_ Leo thought, Raph was stronger than that he knew he was alive. But where. Leo got up and looked around. How long had he been gone for? He was at least three miles away from the manhole he came up from. Has he been running for that long? Leo began to walk back this time actually looking out for his brother or something that could suggest that his brother was near.

As Leo got closer to home nothing had shown up to prove that Raph was okay. Gone without a trace, a true ninja's way. Leo had stopped crying, but he was about to start all over again because of his lost brother. _No, I need to stay strong for my family,_ Leo thought. _We will find him_, Leo repeated this inside his head the whole way home. They would find their brother, but then what? What would they do if Raph really didn't want to come home? Leo shook that thought out of his head. First things first, they need to find Raph then they will deal with whatever comes next.

Leo walked into the lair and everyone jumped up expectantly. Leo shook his head and kneeled before Splinter.

"I'm sorry Sensei. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was just so-" Leo began.

"It is okay my son. You are worried and confused about Raphael. I am too. But you mustn't let anger get the best of you, although understandable it does not solve problems. We will figure this out as a family." Master Splinter said placing a comforting hand on Leo's shoulder.

"Thank you, Sensei." Leo muttered and got up and sat on the couch.

"Why would Raph leave us?" Mikey asked in a tone so serious and so sad the others looked up almost startled.

"I don not know, my son." was Splinter's only response.

"How will we find him? We don't even know why he left." Donnie asked.

"Raphael is troubled by many things. He deals with pain and anger in many ways, mostly on his own, which can lead to self destruction. Raphael is strong though and when he faces obstacles he tries his best to overcome it, but sometimes we fail. When this happens everyone deals with it in different ways. Running away either temporarily or permanently is how your brother deals with it. Have you noticed when he becomes angry he distances his self from the group?" Splinter began.

The three turtles nodded.

"That his how he deals with what had just happened, but this situation is much more extreme unfortunately. But I do not know what caused this. So solving it could be much more complicated than a lost sparring match."

"What if he ran away because of us?" Leo just about whispered.

"I refuse to believe that Raphael would leave because of any of you. Although he rarely showed it he loved you all very much and desperately protected each one of you at all costs. So do not blame yourselves for his leaving." Splinter stopped and got a far off look in his eyes, "This outburst goes much deeper than a simple family argument I'm afraid."

_**Please **_**_review_. I will try to post new chapters at least every two days, possibly sooner.**


	4. Chapter 4: Plans

He ran. He didn't look back because it would be to hard. He ran for reasons he still doesn't know. And he ran away. Away form his brothers. Away from his sensei, his father. Away from his life. And from his problems.

Raphael didn't know why he did it, at the moment it just felt right. There would be no tear jerking good-byes, no one to stop him. Raph always felt that he hindered the team as much as he helped it. He always fought first and talked later and that got him into to trouble more times than not. Plus him and Leo could never see eye to eye and could never stop fighting about it. Leo wasn't the only one Raph fought with, he had disagreements and arguments with every single one of his brothers. He didn't know why, he never thought anything through. Something would get on his nerves and he acted before thinking about it. So why not run away? It was good for him to be on his own, he thought he was usually stronger that way. It allowed Leo to lead the team as he liked. It allowed Donnie to go off on his scientific explanations without rude interruptions. It allowed Mikey not to get beat up on every other second. It allowed Master Splinter to have one less troublesome son to watch over. Raph leaving helped everyone.

Raph ran and ran. He didn't know where he was going he just knew he was going away from a place that was so hard to get along in. A place where he felt so misunderstood and so unappreciated. Along the way Raph would stop and think about turning around, but he couldn't, he wouldn't. As he ran, Raph's thoughts and feelings went crazy. He would get angry because his brothers were so annoying and he couldn't stand them. He would get sad because he knew in the back of is mind that him leaving would cause his brothers pain. He would get confused about the true reason he was running away. He would get scared because what if he couldn't survive on his own?

Raph pushed those thoughts out of his head. He had a personal mission he had to accomplish and he knew it was somewhere away from his family. He had to figure out his temper and get it under control. _But then what?_ Raph thought. What was next? Would he just live somewhere in the shadows, he couldn't go back to his family, they would never forgive him.

As these thoughts distracted Raph, he didn't quite clear the building he was leaping off of and his foot hit the edge of it, he fell hard on his face on the next building. When he pushed himself up he looked around and had no idea where he was or how far he had gone. He became nervous, but he ignored the feeling that he should turn around and he kept running. He kept running away from his problems. And his brothers.

**(At Shredder's)**

Rahzar walked up to Shredder and bowed.

"Did you find anything about the turtles, Bradford?" Shredder grumbled.

"Not exactly, but there were a few interesting things that did happen, Master." Rahzar began.

"Go on." Shredder replied intrigued.

"Well the one that wheres the red mask, the angry one, I saw him running along the rooftops, he seemed off."

"How so?" Shredder interrupted.

"Something in the way he was moving. He didn't seem completely aware of everything. I was only on the roof across from him and he payed me no attention. He kept running with what seemed like it no exact destination. And his brothers did not follow. And then three hours later Leonardo went running across the rooftops. As if looking for his brother. I followed him and he went three miles away form where I first spotted him and then he sat on the roof for some time before turning around. I think the one ran away and the other was trying to find him." Rahzar finished.

After a long pause Shredder began "Interesting. It seems as though a divide has come between the brothers. This could be to our advantage."

"How so?"

"Splinter and his sons will be so caught up in Raphael's disappearance they will never see us coming." Shredder said.

"Attack them? Now?" Rahzar replied confused.

"Yes, with the one turtle gone they will be too distraught to think about anything else. And with one of their members gone, one of their strongest members at that, we will be able to capture Splinter and his annoying turtles." Shredder said convinced that his plan would work.

"I will do anything you ask Master Shredder." Rahzar said bowing his head once again.

**Sorry it's short, but I had to find a way to set everything up. Please review! And if you have any suggestions let me know!**


	5. Chapter 5: Captured

The three turtles spent the next two weeks looking for their lost brother. All the time wondering why Raph would do this them. Countess times they would talk about it and ask each other and their sensei if it could be their own fault, the others immediately dismissing the idea. Leo became very reserved and rarely left the dojo, Master Splinter practically had to drag him out of the dojo forcing him to eat and sleep. Leo would reluctantly go, but he ate very little and slept even less. He would spend most of his nights wandering the sewers, he knew he wouldn't find Raph, but the mazes of the sewers seemed to calm him down. Donnie became absorbed in his working and he tried to track his brother's t-phone, but it was useless he was sure Raph had disposed of it. Don would make attempts to make something he could find his brother with, but it was pointless. His usual sharp mind was off and everything he made whether it was simple or complex it would fail. He became very unaware of his surroundings to the point where anyone making an attempt to talk to him would have to shake his shoulder because no amount of yelling could pull him out of the far away place he seemed to go. Mikey became depressed. He would barely eat a single slice of pizza, he pulled no pranks, and stopped smiling or laughing. At night he would have nightmares and wake up screaming, his brothers or father had to spend the night with him now. Master Splinter became exhausted and very reserved. He failed to get his sons' spirits up and he seemed to age years with every thought of his second oldest son. He spent most of his waking hours just standing in Raph's room, which remained untouched since he left. April and Casey tried to help, but no amount of comforting words would get there spirits up. Raphael's disappearance left everyone a wreck.

One day as the turtles sat around the blank tv screen they heard noises coming from the sewers. Leo looked up meekly, Mikey barely lifted his head, and Donnie remained still. None of them expecting what was about to come.

Foot bots came rushing into the lair. Rahzar, Fish Face, Tiger Claw, and Karai came right behind them weapons drawn and ready to strike. The turtles jumped up and Master Splinter came out his room and stopped when he saw the scene before him. How did they find them? Shredder walked in calmly and stared at Splinter and said "I have finally found you." Then all hell broke loose.

The foot bots attack, the mutants and Karai attacked, and Shredder watched as the turtles were beat. Donnie and Mikey who haven't even set foot in the dojo since Raph left, and who left their weapons in there were very much off their game and were easily defeated by Rahzar. Leo took a little bit more time, but Karai and Fish Face double teamed him and after a few moments Leo was tied up, gagged, and unconscious alongside his younger brothers. Tiger Claw went straight for Splinter so he couldn't help his sons. Splinter was not as fast and as strategic as he usually was and within minutes was tied up alongside his children with a wound to his head. He glared at Shredder, but was unable to say anything do to him being gagged. Shredder looked at the family and laughed, loud and triumphant.

"The great Hamato Yoshi brought down within minutes. Off balance and weak because of the disappearance of a single mutant. His family unable to defend themselves. I wonder why your son left. Maybe he realized he was being raised by a weak and pathetic rat." Shredder taunted staring Splinter right in the eye, "Maybe you failed him as you have failed your other sons." He continued gesturing to the three unconscious turtles beside him. A tear rolled down Splinter's fur and this only made Shredder laugh even more, "Pathetic." Shredder growled as he hit Splinter causing blood to drip from the side of his mouth. "Don't worry, soon this will all be over. And you and your excuse for a family will be finished." This set Splinter off, he tried to break his binds, but before he could do too much damage Shredder planted a kick right to the wound on his head knocking him unconscious.

**Sorry it's short, but at least it's something. :) I will ****try to update tomorrow or maybe even put in another chapter tonight. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6: Tortured

Leonardo woke with a start. He looked around to see he was in a prison cell. Three walls were cement and one had a barred door. He jumped up and ran to the bars when his wrists were snapped back. He looked down to see that he was chained to the wall and the chains went far enough that he could put his face near the bars enough to see out. He saw other cells in the room, three in which were occupied. As his eyes adjusted he could see they were two turtles and a rat, his brothers and sensei.

Leo called out to them, "Donnie! Mikey! Master Splinter!" his voice was only a croak, but the others began to stir. Leo saw the initial shock on their faces as they took in their surroundings and then they relaxed, or something like that, and focused on Leo.

"My sons, are you alright?" Splinter asked worriedly.

"I think." Donnie replied.

"My arm hurts." Mikey whimpered.

"We need to get lout of here." Leo said urgently.

"And how do you think we will do that? We can't break through the bars, or our chains for that matter, we aren't-" Mikey began bitterly, but stopped suddenly. The others knew what he was going to say. They aren't Raphael. He could at least break his chains, he was always the strongest.

"But if it wasn't for him we wouldn't have gotten our shells handed to us in the first place." Donnie muttered angrily.

"Now is not the time for wallowing in what has happened. We must focus on the task at hand. And that is escaping this prison and getting away from Shredder." Splinter said with a confidence the others hadn't heard since Raph left.

As the turtles began to inspect their surroundings to figure out what they could do they heard footsteps coming from down the hall. They grew louder and the turtles receded into the back of their cells.

Rahzar and Fish Face emerged from the dark hall and looked around.

"Well isn't this a sight." Rahzar growled.

"The turtles and their sensei in prison and at the mercy of us." snarled Fish Face.

"Leave my sons alone. Take me, but do not harm my sons!" Splinter yelled yanking at his chains.

"Tempting offer," Shredder's voiced boomed as he walked into the room, "But I think I will have some fun with your sons first." he said as he walked over to Leo's cell. Leo glared at Shredder as he unlocked his cell and dragged Leo out by his chains.

"Leave him alone!" Splinter screamed.

Shredder did not reply as he dragged Leo down the hall and up a staircase. Leo looked back as his brothers stared worriedly at him through the bars and Splinter trying desperately to break his cuffs.

As Shredder and Leo walked into the main room Shredder kicked Leo sending him sliding across the ground.

"Pesky turtle." he said as he kicked Leo again, "Always getting in the way of my plans." he said as he picked him up and threw back onto the ground.

"Has there been anything that you have gotten away with yet?" Leo laughed, provoking Shredder to place another kick to his chest.

"Once I'm through with you and your brothers and your sensei I won't have anyone to stand in my way. And since you have chased your other brother off you made my job so much easier."

"How do you know about Raph." Leo groaned in between heavy breathes.

"I had spies out and they came back with information that a certain turtle ran away and was followed by another. Bradford followed you back to the sewers and the rest was simple. You were so distressed about your brother you didn't even noticed you were being followed. So I knew you wouldn't be expecting an attack." Shredder said raising his claws and slashing Leo across the face.

"How about you release me and we have a fair fight." Leo said spitting blood.

"Tempting thought, but I would much rather watch you suffer." Shredder said kicking Leo in the head.

As Leo's vision began to blur he saw Shredder walking towards him laughing. Shredder picked him by his shell and held him so they were face to face "Soon you and your brothers and your precious sensei will be dead. And you will die knowing that your own brother left you and you will have no one else to blame but yourself, you pathetic excuse for a leader. Raphael couldn't even stand to be around you anymore." Shredder hissed.

Leo mustered up enough strength to spit on Shredder. This angered Shredder causing him to throw Leo to the ground and kicked him across the room. He picked Leo up again and slammed him against the wall and watched as the ninja's limp body fell to the floor. As Shredder grabbed Leo's chains and begin to drag him back Leo lost consciousness. But before everything went black Leo whispered something barely audible he wasn't even sure if he had said it out loud. "Raph I need you."

**Hope you liked this. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Tortured Part-2

The three mutants looked up as they heard someone walk into the prison room. They all gasped as they saw the Shredder dragging an unconscious, beaten, and bloody Leonardo.

"What have you done to my son?!" Splinter screamed with such anger it made his other sons jump.

Shredder just laughed as he threw Leo back into his cell attaching his shackles to the wall again. Splinter was yelling at Shredder as he left and trying desperately to break his chains, but as Shredder's footsteps grew quiet he gave up. He looked up towards his oldest son and cried out his name, but Leo was unresponsive. The only thing that comforted him was the faint rise and fall of his son's chest.

Mikey found his voice, "Leo! Leo wake up!" he cried, but his brother laid still.

"He's alright Mikey. He will wake up soon." Donnie assured his little brother.

"I'm scared." Mikey whimpered quietly.

"Do not fear my son. We will be okay. We will get out of here. All of us as a family." Splinter's calming voice filled the quiet room.

"Almost all of us." Mikey sighed.

This comment pained Splinter. He knew Raph and Mikey were close and he knew how much pain Raph's leaving had caused his youngest brother.

"Is Shredder gonna come for us next Sensei?" Donnie asked.

"I'm afraid so. Oroku Saki is a ruthless enemy. But you must remain strong my sons." Splinter said trying to reassure his sons. These were the last words spoken as the three mutants fell asleep.

The next day everyone, including Leo, woke up to heavy footsteps coming down the hall. Mikey whimpered quietly as the Shredder walked in. He walked to Donnie's cell this time. Donnie tried to fight, but the Shredder was stronger and easily overpowered him. This time Splinter didn't scream out, but only said "I hope you know you will pay for this." Shredder payed no attention to the rat as he pushed Don out of the room.

Donnie was thrown to the ground in the main room. He looked around and saw blood stains on the carpet. Donnie shuddered as he pictured Shredder hitting Leo in this room the day before.

"Taking in your brother's marks in the room I see." The Shredder said as he punched Donnie into the wall. "How about we add to the stains."

"How about you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of." Donnie spat.

Shredder simply kicked Donnie across the room before walking over to him and throwing him against the wall.

"You're like your brother." Shredder said as he raised his claw, "You know just what to say to make you suffer even more." he finished as he brought the blades across Donnie's shoulder and catching his chin in the process.

"Who would of thought someone so feared could be so easily irritated by a bunch of teenagers." Donnie spat.

Shredder yelled and threw Donnie across the room and then walked over and kicked him he slid and his head hit one of the marble steps and cracked open as Donnie past out. Shredder picked up the chains that prevented Don from fighting back and dragged him out of the room and back towards the prison room.

**I know these next few are short, but I figured it would be easier to write three shorter chapters than one super long one. Hope you enjoyed. Don't worry they will get out of this. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8: Tortured Part-3

**(After Donnie is taken)**

"What's going on?" Leo asked in a panic.

"The Shredder has taken Donatello to do the same thing he did to you." Splinter said defeated.

"NO! Donnie! It's not fair." Leo said struggling to break his chains, but was even weaker than before do to the injuries Shredder gave him.

"My son you must calm down or you might hurt yourself even more."

"I don't care I need to rescue Donnie." Leo said still struggling.

"Leonardo!" Splinter said in the tone he used only to scold his sons, "Calm yourself!"

Leo just grunted as he sat down reluctantly.

"You know, this is all Raph's fault." Leo said quietly.

"My son, not now." Splinter said.

"If Raph didn't have such a temper he would of never had ran off. I wouldn't of had to gone after him. And they would have never have tracked me. And we would have never have been attacked!" Leo said with rising anger. "We would still be in the lair and be just fine! We wouldn't be getting beaten up by Shredder and we wouldn't be in this mess!" Leo began to yell.

"Leonardo." Splinter tried to reach his son, but his voiced was drowned out as Leo began to yell and pace his cell.

"I wouldn't haven't failed anyone! Donnie wouldn't have started to go crazy and shutting himself in his lab! Mikey wouldn't be having nightmares! Sensei, you wouldn't have lost a son! We would be so much better off! BUT NO! Raphael has to go and be his stubborn self and run away! Leaving us, abandoning us! THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!" Leo screamed panting hard from the exhaustion. Then he stopped and looked up realizing what he had just said. He had just admitted that he blamed himself for Raph's disappearance, but it was more than that. He spent so much time saying that it was just Raph's temper, but when Leo stopped and thought about it he couldn't help but feel that him pushing Raph pushed him too far.

"Leonardo you did nothing wrong." was all Splinter said. What could he say, his son was hurting because he took every burden and placed it upon his own shoulders, there was nothing he could say, he just had to listen.

Leo, looking more defeated than ever before, retreated to the darkest corner of his cell and tried to hide from his sensei's hurt look and Mikey's scared expression. What kind of leader yelled at his sensei like that and in front of his little brother who already had nightmares. No wonder why Raph left.

Before Leo could wallow in self pity anymore Shredder came in dragging Donnie who had a bad gash in his head. Shredder locked up the turtle without a word and walked out of the room.

Mikey whimpered as he realized the same would happen to him very soon.

In the morning, or at least everyone thought it was morning the chamber had no windows, Shredder walked in once again and went straight to Mikey's cell. As Shredder and Mikey walked out Leo screamed at Shredder "You're a terrible person. You have no honor and will suffer for everything you have done!"

"And who will cause this suffering? You will not be around for much longer." Shredder said amused, Leo remained quiet as he stared at the now empty hallway.

Mikey whimpered as the Shedder threw him across the room.

"You are not as tough as your brothers." Shredder laughed at the sound of Mikey's whimpers. He picked him up and slammed him against the wall holding him there as he slashed Mikey's face with his claw.

"And you're not as tough as Karai." Mikey mumbled.

At this Shredder slammed Mikey against the ground and picked him up and threw him across the room. Mercilessly Shredder began to beat the young turtle until Mikey stopped responding and had blood coming from his nose and mouth. Shredder backed off and stared triumphantly at Mikey who remained motionless. Shredder knew that harming Mikey like this would cause the others to be angry, but he also knew that they wouldn't be able to anything about it. As Shredder bent down to pick up Mikey's chains, Mikey whispered "You will never be half the man my sensei is." This earned Mikey another slash across the shoulder. Mikey only smirked before slipping away into unconsciousness.

Shredder walked into the prison chamber and began to put Mikey back in his cell. When the others saw what he had done to their brother and son they went berzerk. Screaming at Shredder and threatening him, but Shredder only laughed because all of them knew that they wouldn't be able to anything to him.

**This is the last chapter for tonight. Hope you all enjoyed. I'm super excited about the next chapter! CAn't wait to write it and post it! Thanks for reading and please review.**


	9. Chapter 9: Rescue

Raph has been on his own for almost three weeks. He has been able to scrounge for food in alleys and trashcans, but it was never as good as the fresh pizza he would have with his family. He missed his brothers, but at the same time he didn't. He didn't miss their annoying comments, their insults, or the way none of them understood him and his struggles. He didn't miss how Leo was always being the best and always trying to be the boss him. He didn't miss how his older brother always tried to force his perfectness on Raph and discouraged Raph's personality without taking into consideration how his younger brother felt about it. But then again Raph missed Leo. He missed their competition and good hearted arguments. He missed Donnie and how he could solve just about any problem and invent anything. He missed Mikey and his jokes and his smile. He missed Master Splinter and how he always kept him in check and spent so much time with him trying to control his anger. His family cared about him and he left them. Even if he wanted to go back how would they ever except him? They wouldn't.

But Raph was happy on his own. No one to tell him what to do or how to act. It was better this way, he was better this way. He didn't yell at anyone and he didn't need to watch his actions because no one was watching him, critiquing his every move. He was free. Or at least that's what he thought.

One night Raph was watching the city from a skyscraper miles away from the lair. When he heard a noise behind him. He spun around sais drawn, ready to fight. Raph was surprised to see that the person who came out of the shadows was a teenage girl, with dark hair, and in full armor. Karai.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Raph demanded.

"I could ask you the same question. But if you must know I'm running an errand for Shredder. Then I saw a familiar turtle and decided to say hi." Karai replied slyly.

"Well you said hi, now leave." Raph snarled.

"So why did you leave?" Karai asked disregarding what Raph had just said.

"None of your business."

Karai laughed, "Well it certainly made our lives easier."

"What are you talking about?" Raph asked a little nervous about the answer. _ They couldn't have found them_.

"Oh well it's not like you could do anything. Let alone would you want to, you obviously left for a reason."

Raph was done playing games. He knew Karai was talking about his family and he wanted to know what had happened to them. He lunged at her and Karai swiftly countered, obviously expecting his reaction. They fought for a few minutes before Karai slipped up and Raph pinned her down, sai inches away from her neck.

"What did you do to my family?" Raph snarled slowly.

"Do you really care, Raphael? You left them. What makes you think they want your help now? You're a disgrace, a traitor. And why would you care what happens to the ones you left so easily?" Karai said confidently and based on Raph's reaction she knew she hit a nerve.

Raph picked up the sai that was at her neck and brought it down to her head. Grazing her ear and planting it in the cement of the roof.

"Tell me what you did them or I swear I will kill you." Raph growled with such anger he surprised himself.

"Maybe, but it's not like you could do anything now. They won't be alive by the time you get to them." Karai said.

As Raph brought his sai up once again Karai saw her chance and hit the weapon out of his hand and knocked him back. He stumbled to the edge of the roof and Karai knocked him off. As Raph hung from the five story building Karai leaned down and spoke softly in his ear.

"It's sad really. If you had never left your family we wouldn't have found your little hideout. We would have never captured them. You could of made a difference, but you weren't there. You left them."

Raph screamed and threw himself onto the roof ready to fight, but Karai was running away. Raph threw his sai at her, but she jumped away and disappeared and the weapon impaled the door to the stairwell. Raph fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. So many things went through his mind. His family, his decisions, Shredder, Karai and what she said, where his family was, everything that had gone on in the past few weeks. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know where they were. He didn't know if they were even alive. Raph stopped himself, they had to be alive or else Karai wouldn't have tormented him the way she did, she would have just said it. After a few minutes of pacing, thinking, yelling, and unfortunately crying Raphael made up his mind. He knew what he had to do. He had to save his family. The ones who he ran away from. He had to return home.

* * *

><p>It's been just over a week since the turtles and their master were captured. The wounds Shredder inflicted on the brothers were still very bad, an unknown medic was sent down to stitch up Donnie's head and make sure the others weren't so badly wounded that they died. The turtles were beginning to give up on the hope that they would ever get out of the prison. Splinter tried to reassure them, but even his attempts were weak. They were given food once a day and other than that were left alone and saw no one.<p>

Then one day they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Not the loud heavy steps of the Shredder or Rahzar, but light ones that were barely audible and whoever was coming down was trying not be heard. Master Splinter, Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo all went to their cell doors and looked out curiously. And what happened next shocked them all into silence for a few moments.

Raphael emerged from the the dark hall. He was a little beat up and had various cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. He had his weapons drawn and a determined look in his eye. When he came into the dim light he looked around in shock. His brothers and sensei looked back at him and each one of them were badly injured except for Splinter.

"What are you doing here?" Leo barked.

"I'm here to get you all out of here. We don't have much time." Raph said picking Leo's lock with his sais.

"What if we don't want your help?" Leo asked defiantly.

Raph stopped and looked up, pain flashed on his face then quickly disappeared and he went back to the lock. He opened the door and Leo backed away putting his cuffs out of Raph's reach.

"Come on Leo don't be like that. Let me get you out of here and then I'll be gone if that's what you want, okay?" Raph said making another attempt to release his brother, but Leo pulled away again.

"I don't want you to leave, I never wanted you to leave, but Raph you left us. How can we trust you?" Leo asked sounding more hurt then Raph had ever heard him.

"Come on Leo please let me help." Raph begged his older brother.

Leo showed Raph his hands and Raph picked the locks quickly and then ran to Donnie's cell. When he saw Don's stitched up head it took all he had not to go and beat Shredder right then and there. He got into Donnie's cell and Donnie warily gave Raph's his hands. He never met Raph's eyes or answered when Raph asked what had happened. Raph then moved onto Mikey and when he saw his little brother he bit back a screamed, but he punched the wall next to the cell and before he could do anything else Master Splinter spoke up.

"My son, I am glad you are well."

"Yeah." was all Raph said. What could he say?

He got into Mikey's cell and Mikey shrunk back into his cell.

"Come on Mikey, it's okay." Raph said to his baby brother.

"You left us!" Mikey yelled and shoved Raph.

"Ssshhh," everyone hushed him, but it was too late. They heard voices upstairs and it wouldn't be long before they would come down.

"Mikey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left, but I'm here now and I want to help. I'm gonna get you out of here. Please just let me get you out of here." Raph said holding back tears. Mikey hesitated until Leo told him to let Raph take off his shackles and then he gave Raph his wrists. They heard footsteps not far away and Raph rushed to his sensei's cell.

"My son, take your brothers and go. They will be here any second and I will not let you four get captured." Splinter told his son.

"No I can do it, it'll just be a few seconds." Raph assured, but his nerves were getting the best of him and he couldn't hold his hands still. Either way Tiger Claw and Razhar appeared from the hall.

"Well look at this, a rescue mission." Rahzar laughed.

"A failed rescue mission at that." Tiger Claw added.

"My sons, go!" yelled Splinter.

"But Sensei," Raph cried still trying to pick the lock. Leo pulled him away and Raph cried out again "I'll come back for you Sensei!" And then he threw a smoke bomb, blinding his enemies. He grabbed his brothers and ran for the stairs. Tiger Claw and Rahzar were right behind them, but Raph managed to hold both Mikey and Donnie and out run them. He pulled his brothers down a side wing and stayed there and let the others run past. Raph walked down the hall and grabbed something out of the air vent.

"Thought you might want these." he said flatly handing his brothers their weapons which they took without a word.

They ran down the main hall again and aside from a few foot bots got out of the building without much of a fight. Which for the boys, was good. Raph was exhausted from running thirty miles over night and his brothers were in no condition to fight after what the shredder did to them.

Raph managed to get his brothers to the sewers. He couldn't take them back to the lair so he found another place. A sewage tunnel that was no longer in use. He let his brothers make themselves at home and he went to the lair to get some supplies. When he came back they were sitting together against a wall and Raph set the supplies down by them without taking any for himself. He walked to the other side of the tunnel because he knew he was not welcomed amongst his brothers and he sat down.

"I'm so sorry." Raph said as Mikey and Donnie snuggled up next to Leo and began to fall asleep under the blankets Raph brought them.

"I don't know if I believe you." was Leo's reply before he too settled in for the night.

**I know it took a little bit longer, but it's done. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be posting the next one hopefully tomorrow, maybe the day after lol. Thanks for reading and please review/comment.**


	10. Chapter 10: Remembering

That night Raph didn't sleep. When he did fall asleep for a few minutes his sleep was filled with nightmares of the past few weeks and more. He woke up quickly and in a cold sweat with tears streaming down his face. He didn't try to go back to sleep, for he feared what might await him when his eyes shut. He kept watch over his brothers. As he watched them sleeping he remembered good times and bad times he had shared with them.

**_(Flashback)_**

_He remembered when they had returned from fighting the shredder for the first time. He remembered how Leo was devastated that he couldn't lead the team to victory. Raph had stuck by his side the next few days reassuring his big brother that he did okay and that Raph and his brothers thought nothing less of him. He had comforted Leo. At the same time Raph was hurting because he couldn't defeat Shredder and he felt that he should have fought harder. Leo saw this and as Leo healed he comforted Raph. The two of them were constantly with each other for those following days and they didn't fight once or even got on each others nerves a little. They were both there for each other without fail when they needed each other._

_**(End Flashback)**_

Raph smiled at the memory as he watched his older brother sleep. He loved those days where they didn't fight, it was relaxing. He missed that brother and he so desperately wanted him back. But Raph had butchered that relationship. He damaged it beyond repair. Tears stung Raphael's eyes and he choked them back. He couldn't start crying, not now, not when there were worse things going on. Raph took a deep breath and looked back to the pile of turtles and his gaze rested on Donnie who was slightly shifting in his sleep.

**(**_**Flashback)**_

_It was the night Donnie had revealed the Shell Raiser. Mikey and Leo were watching Space Heroes and Donnie was in his lab working on some project when Raph walked in. Raph watched his little brother for a few seconds before announcing his presence. He watched as Donnie's hands worked with amazing speed and Raoh knew his mind was going twice as fast. _

_"Hey Donnie." Raph said causing Donnie to jump._

_He looked over irritated and stated, "What have I told you guys about not sneaking up on me when I'm working?"_

_"I walked through the door and said hello, how is __that sneaking up on you?" Raph asked sarcastically putting his brother in a headlock._

_Donnie shoved Raph off and asked, "So what are doing in here exactly?"_

_"Oh nothin'," Raph said nonchalantly._

_"You can do that somewhere else." Donnie replied flatly returning to his work._

_"Look Donnie, I- I wanted to tell you something," at this Donnie stopped working and looked up expectantly, "I just wanted to let you know... that the uh, well you," Raph stuttered._

_"What?" Donnie asked patiently, he knew his brother wasn't good at these kind of things._

_"Well the Shell Raiser is pretty cool." Raph said. Donnie raised his eyebrows knowing that Raph had more to say. "And you're... you're pretty awesome Donnie. I could never do the stuff you do." Raph finished shyly._

_"Well I could teach because technically it's not that-" Donnie began._

_"Don't ruin it Don," Raph said harsher than what he meant to. Don quickly looked down uncomfortable, Raph poked his shoulder so that he would look up and he smiled at him, "There is only enough room on the team for one genius."_

_At this, Donnie smiled back at his older brother and Raph punched his shoulder lightly and walked out the room._

Raph laughed to himself. He was never good at the whole loving thing and his brothers knew that, but they helped him along and were patient most of the time. He thought about how smart Donnie was and even though he gave him a bad time about it, he really appreciated it. If it weren't for Don's inventions the turtles couldn't have done half the things they do together, or did together. Raph shook his head. What was he thinking leaving these guys. They were his brothers and he just upped and left for reasons that still weren't entirely clear to him. He wished he could take it back. Before he lost himself in his thoughts he heard Mikey mumble something under his breath that sounded a lot like "Booyakasha". Raph smiled and laughed a little.

_**(Flashback)**_

_A few years before the brothers went topside Mikey would get nightmares sometimes. He still did occasionally, but not as bad or as often. One time Raph heard a scream come from Mikey's room. Raph jumped out of bed and ran to Mikey's room. No one else had gotten up so Raph figured he was the only one who heard his younger brother._

_When Raph opened Mikey's door what he saw just about broke his heart. His younger brother was twisted up in his sheets, his face was about as twisted as his sheets, and he kept mumbling unrecognizable words as he thrashed back and forth. Mikey didn't have nightmares to often, but when he did they were bad. Raph approached the bed __and gently grabbed Mikey's shoulder, which was sweaty, and shook it slowly trying to wake him up as he said his name._

_"Mikey, Mikey. It's okay, it's just a dream. Come on bro wake up." Raph tried to pull his little brother out of the horror of his nightmare, but it didn't work. Raph sat on the bed and took Mikey by the shoulders and shook them a little bit harder and kept talking to him. Eventually Mikey woke with a start. As he opened his eyes he tackled his brother in a hug._

_"Oh Raphie it was horrible! Everyone was there and then all of a sudden you guys weren't and I was left all alone in the dark and I didn't know where you were and I tried calling out for you, but I couldn't speak." Mikey wailed as tears spilled down his face as he held onto Raph._

_"Ssshhh," Raph said soothingly trying to calm down his upset brother._

_The brother's stayed like that for a while until Mikey stopped crying, but he still shivered a little. Raph leaned against the wall with is brother still in his arms._

_"Don't worry Mikey," he had said, "We aren't going to leave you. Leo won't. Donnie won't. Master Splinter won't. I won't. We are all going to stay right here." Raph said sleepily, but sincerely._

_"You promise?" Mikey asked yawning._

_"I swear Mikey. I promise you I will never leave you no matter what. And you know how I don't break my promises." Raph said as his little brother fell asleep in his arms. Raph smiled and leaned his head against the wall and fell asleep too._

**_(End Flashback)_**

Raphael had tears pouring down his face uncontrollably. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't help it. He had broken his promise to his little brother. A big promise and he failed him. He left his brother just like in that dream. He left him without regards to what he had said that night and without regards to how his decision would affect his brother. In that moment Raph realized why Mikey had coward away from him. Raph had betrayed Mikey's trust. Raph's heart broke at this realization. Sure he picked on Mikey and made fun of him, but he loved him and now his brother slept in some unknown place beaten and betrayed and it what was all Raph's fault. In that moment, staring at his brothers, Raph made a vow to protect them at whatever cost and try as hard as he could, even though he knew he never could truly do so, to make up for what he had done. He will gain his brothers trust and love back. He promised this to himself. And he would never break another promise, even if it killed him.

**This is kind of a filler chapter, but still important (mainly cause of the end). I'm just really tired and didn't want to write a super intense chapter cause I didn't want it to be bad. And as I sat down to write, this whole idea came to my head. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	11. Chapter 11: Abandoned

Leo was the first of his brothers to wake up. He slightly shifted into a more comfortable position without waking up his two younger brothers who were passed out on top of him. Leo looked up and saw that Raph was gone. This didn't surprise him, he figured he would leave, Raph probably didn't want the responsibility of taking care of the others or helping get Splinter away from Shredder. At this thought, Raph walked in with food in his arms and more supplies from the lair.

"I thought you left." Leo said bitterly, Raph simply looked up with a hurt looked in his eyes that quickly vanished. He sat down and began to build a fire and started cooking some eggs. The smell woke up Donnie and Mikey and they both yawned and stretched. None of the brothers said anything to Raph, or looked at him. When Raph finished he put a serving of eggs on four plates, three servings were larger than the other and Raph took the smallest one, despite usually being the greediest of the four when it came to food. Raph took his plate back across the tunnel and began to eat. Despite the sound of Raph chewing there was complete silence.

"You guys should eat. You need to gain back your strength." Raph said between bites.

Donnie and Mikey looked up at Leo for, what seemed like, permission. Leo nodded and the three of them grabbed the plates and began to eat. Once again there was silence amongst the turtles. When Raph finished he set his plate aside and stared blankly at the ground. The others finished and Raph looked at them searching for words to say, but what could he say?

"Why did you leave us?" Mikey said, this time there was no anger in his voice like last time, just pure hurt and betrayal.

"I don't know." Raph said shamefully. It was the truth. He thought he was leaving to benefit everyone, to be on his own, to be free and not take orders. But as he got farther from home these reasons seemed to disappear and fear replaced them. Fear of what he was doing, where he was going, and how he would survive.

"That's not an answer." Leo growled.

"I know it's not!" Raph raised his voice in anger, catching himself he closed his eyes and took a deep breathe, "I know it's not an answer, but I don't know what to say."

"So you left us and you don't even know why?!" Leo shouted causing Raph to flinch.

"I- I, I was scared!" Raph shouted back, he didn't even know why he was shouting, but he was. And in that moment all of the pain and fear from those past weeks and from past months and years came rushing to Raph and it all hurt so much. Raph continued to talk and as he did he began to pace, "I was scared that I was hurting you guys. I could never follow orders. I could never keep my cool. I had zero patience. How many times has my tempered nearly gotten us all killed? I was scared I would hurt you guys. I was scared I would disappoint Master Splinter. I thought I was better off on my own. But I was so wrong. I didn't know what to do on my own. All I did was run. I thought the farther I got form you guys the easier it would be to forget everything, to start over, to be braver. But it didn't, it got worse. I thought I could run away from my problems, but they followed me. I couldn't sleep, I barely ate, I didn't know what to do without you guys. You're my family, I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed and worked it out, but I was so scared. Scared I would always be the one to screw things up, to start fights. I was scared I would be the one that would get us killed." When Raph finished his brothers just stared. Raph had tears streaming down his face and he was out of breath. He looked helplessly at Mikey, then Donnie, and finally his gaze met Leo's. Leo didn't say anything for a while, but the look on his face was clear. He still didn't trust Raph.

"Please Leo. Believe me. I need you. I need my leader. I need my brother." Raph said taking a step towards his brother. But Leo stepped back.

"I'm not your leader. And you're not my brother." Leo said to Raph in a cold, unforgiving tone. This caught Raph by surprise and he staggered back as if someone had hit him.

Raph looked at Donnie, "Please Don," but Donnie shook his head and turned away.

Raph then looked to Mikey, who was furiously wiping at his tears, "Mike?" Raph looked to his little brother pleadingly.

"You promised me. And you still left." Mikey said in wavering voice as he tried to remain firm.

Raph stared at his brothers barely able to comprehend what was happening. His brothers were leaving him. They didn't want him. Raph ran out the entrance. He ran again. But this time he wasn't running somewhere far away. He had a destination and a mission. He was going to prove to his brothers that he stilled loved them. He was going to rescue Splinter. No matter what the cost.

**Sorry for the short chapter, but it sets up the next ones. :) Thanks for reading and please ****review.**


	12. Chapter 12: Understanding

Splinter woke up to a low rattling sound. He opened his eyes to see a large figure in front of his cell door fiddling with the lock.

"My son," he whispered.

"Sensei I'm getting you out of here, don't worry." Raphael replied quietly.

"No. Raphael, leave now before-" his sentence was cut short by a low laugh. The shredder walked into the room.

"I knew you would come for your precious master." Shredder said.

Raph pulled out his sais, ready to fight. Shredder simply laughed again and knocked Raph in the head sending him backwards. Raph got up again and attacked, but the Shreddder was too fast he dodged knocking Raph down again.

"My son," Splinter called weakly.

Raph got up once again and ran towards the shredder, but was slashed across the face and then slammed into the wall. Raph blacked out. The shredder threw him into a cell, locked it, and walked away.

* * *

><p>"Should we follow him?" Mikey asked.<p>

"Why so he can leave again?" Leo barked.

"But-"

"There are no buts Mikey. Raph left us. End of story. We don't need him."

* * *

><p>Raph woke up with throbbing pain in his head and dried blood on his face. He remembered where he was and ran to his cell door and saw his sensei sitting across from him. He had wounds all over his body, not too bad, but bad enough that they weakened him.<p>

"Sensei," Raph called quietly.

His sensei opened his eyes, "My son."

"What did Shredder do to you?"

"That does not matter. What matters is how were going to get out."

"But I don't know how. I can't. Im sorry." Raph said. Both Splinter and Raph knew the apology wasn't for not knowing how to escape.

"My son, you got lost. But you found your way back. That is all that matters." Splinter said calmly.

"Tell that to Leo." Raph grumbled.

"Leonardo was hurt by your actions. We all were. You must understand that what you did was irresponsible and deavsting to us all. Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo lost their brother. Casey and April lost a friend. I lost a son."

"I didn't mean to hurt you guys. I just wanted to be by myself. Or I thought thats what I wanted..." Raph trailed off.

"Often times what we think we want is not always what we imagined it to be." Splinter replied.

"Yeah no kidding."

"My son, you are brave and strong. But sometimes you forget that you are brave and strong because you have had a family behind you to help you grow into what you are. It is not a bad thing to be able to stand alone, but one is always stronger when standing with others. And if you have the ability to be together than take that chance. Do not be afraid to depend on others. Standing with others does not make the individual weak, but stronger because he has accepted his fears and allows help from others who care about him. Facing one's problems on their own may be noble at times, but it is usually dangerous because it can cause one to lose himself. But when he faces his problems with others at his side he can conquer whatever may be in his way. My son, you choose to stand alone for many reasons, most I do not understand, but you must remember you have family and friends that will fight with you."

Raphael remained silent for a long time. He thought about his sensei's words and let them sink in. He found the truth in his words and tears stung his eyes, but Raph fought them back.

"You're right. I am always stronger when I have my brothers with me. You're right that I like to be on my own, I'm not entirely sure why though. I just... I just feel like I have to be strong for the others. I know Leo is the oldest and the leader, but I feel like I need to be braver than him so he knows that he doesn't need to worry about time. I want to be strong for Don and Mikey, I don't want you guys to worry about me. But Master, I'm just so scared. I'm scared I wont be brave enough or strong enough. I get so scared that I get angry with myself and I take it out on everyone else." Raph said ashamed.

"There is no need to prove yourself. I know you are strong and brave. Your brothers know that as well. I know you are angry with many things, but what?" This time Splinter wasn't giving advice, but trying to understand his son better.

"I- I don't know. I'm angry that I wasn't leader. I'm angry that I can't survive on my own. I'm angry that we will never be accepted by society. I'm angry that people are so cruel to others. And the littlest things anger me too. Like the pranks Mikey plays on us and all of his stupid comments. Donnie's long obnoxious explanations. Leo's condescending tone he uses to talk to me with. I just can't control it and I snap!" Raph said getting increasingly frustrated.

"My son, these are all understandable reasons. But many you cannot change and you must accept them. You by nature have a temper and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has a different personality, but you must learn how to control this temper and anger. I have tried to help you because even when you were little you were quick to fight and it has only increased. You must not be afraid to talk about it." Splinter said calmly.

"Yeah, I know. But nobody ever understands. They just think I'm crazy!"

"Yes well not everybody sees past your rough exterior. You mustn't be afraid of letting them see your softer side."

"But I don't like that side."

Splinter laughed, "Yes well sometimes you need to be a little softer, even if it means not tackling your brothers whenever you get the chance."

Raph laughed too. He was beginning to understand what his master has been telling him all these years. He was also beginning to understand more about himself. "Thanks Sensei."

"My son, I will always help you, and I will always try to guide you back home. Your brothers will too, but it may take them some time to completely forgive you, but it will be easier for them if you explain to them why you left."

"Yeah," Raph said unconvinced. Leo didn't even consider Raph his brother anymore. At this thought Shredder walked in and dragged Raph out of his cell.

Raph tried to fight but it was useless his hands were tied, literally. Shredder dragged him to the same room he ebat the others in. The shredder threw him across the room and before Raph could get up the Shredder was over him, he kicked him and the slashed his face again. He threw Raph down on the ground so hard it broke the glass over the water. Raph took this chance to grab a piece of broken glass to help pick the lock. Before he could stash it the Shredder kicked him in the head sending him sliding across the room and Raph hit his head on the wall. His vision began to blur, but before he completely past out he pushed the glass under the tape on his arm.

Shredder walked back into the prison chamber with an unconscious Raphael behind him. Shredder stopped in front of Splinter.

"You see Hamato Yoshi, your little mutants are no match for me. And eventually I will kill you all."

"You will pay for what you have done to my family." Splinter growled.

As Shredder walked away from the cell Splinter noticed a piece a glass fall out of Raph's tape. When the Shredder walked out of the room Splinter slid his tail between the bars and brought the glass towards him. He began to pick his lock and quickly went to his son's. He grabbed his son and ran out of the chamber. He quietly dodged any one he would have to fight. And he got out of the building. He ran to the nearest manhole and went down. He ran through sewers following a faint smell of his sons. When he found their hideout he saw them eating.

Leo looked up and cried, "Sensei!"

The turtles jumped up and ran to him, but Splinter walked past them.

"We must help your brother. He was beaten by the shredder." Splinter looked up at his other sons, "Raphael may not live."

**Thanks for reading! And as always please review. :)**


	13. Chapter 13: Healing

_"Raphael may not live."_

The three brothers looked at their master in shock.

"What do you mean he might not live. He couldn't have gotten that hurt...could he have?" Mikey asked meekly.

"I'm afraid so." Splinter said gathering supplies.

The turtles were frozen. Then, Casey and April walked in.

"Master Splinter you're back!" April exclaimed running to Splinter, but quickly stopped and looked around at the others, "What's wrong?"

"Raph's back." Leo said indifferently.

April and Casey exchanged a look. They knew Raph was a touchy subject now, but before they could say anything Donnie spoke up.

"The shredder beat him up pretty badly." he said and stepped back to show Raph's lifeless body. April gasped and slowly approached, but before she got to close Splinter stepped in front of her.

"I need you and Casey to go get me more medical supplies. Here is list and I need them as soon as possible." Splinter said shoving a piece of paper in her hands and ushering her and Casey out of the tunnel.

"Okay we'll back soon." April said and grabbed Casey, who hadn't looked away from Raph since he saw him, and ran to down the tunnels.

"Grab me a blanket." Splinter ordered, the boys didn't move, "Now!"

Mikey jumped and grabbed a blanket and handed it to Splinter. Splinter began to tear it up and use it to stop the bleeding and he began to stitch up Raph's major wounds with the little medical supplies he had.

"My sons, I know you are hurt, but right now you must understand that nothing will get better if you don't help me heal Raphael." Splinter said more calmly this time.

"Why? What has he ever done to help us?" Leo said bitterly.

"Uh, Sensei I think what he means to say is what could we possibly do for him right now." Donnie intervened nervously.

Leo shoved him aside and said, "No I mean exactly what I said. Why should we help someone who never helped us? He didn't wanna help so much that he left!"

Splinter stopped what he was doing and turned on his eldest son, "Leonardo now is not the time for resentment! You need to step up as a leader if not for Raphael then for Donatello and Michelangelo. I know what Raphael did was wrong, but he needs us now and if you don't want to help, and this goes for all of you, then leave until you think you may want to. But I have forgiven your brother and I will not let him die. As for him never helping you, Raphael has helped all of you, maybe not as much as you would like, but he would never purposely hurt you, and he always had your backs in fights. I know he left, but it was a mistake and a mistake worth forgiving."

Leo just turned and walked out without a word. Donnie and Mikey stayed behind. Splinter returned to working on Raph.

* * *

><p>April and Casey came back and the supplies allowed Splinter to finish dressing Raphael's wounds. Splinter went off to the side to meditate leaving Donnie, Mikey, April, and Casey to stare at the walls, Splinter had put up a curtain to allow Raph some privacy. Leo had not returned yet, when April had asked about his whereabouts the two brothers only looked down.<p>

"Well this sucks." Casey said flatly breaking the silence that had hung in the air for an hour. The others looked up, "This really sucks. My best friend is sitting behind some curtain possibly dying and I don't know how to feel about it. He left for two weeks without a word and came back to get you guys away form Shredder, but what if Shredder never got you guys. Would he have left for good? I didn't know what to think when he left, it was so random. I was so angry at him for not telling me. Now that he's back...it's like I just want him to leave again. It sure is a lot easier to hate someone when there not here than to forgive when they are." When Casey finished his rant he went back to staring at the ground.

"I know what you mean. I missed him a lot to, but now that he's here it's like seeing a ghost. I don't know what to think." Donnie replied gloomily.

"I just want him to get better. Then I can punch him for leaving me." Mikey stated.

"Come on guys he's your brother, and your best friend," she said looking at Casey, "and he made a mistake. So what he left. He came back because you guys were hurt. He came back for you. That has to mean something to you. Or are you just going to ignore the fact that he tried, like Leo is." That last comment made everyone look up. "Yeah that's right. What Leo is doing is completely wrong. I know you two aren't exactly happy with what's going on, but at least you're addressing the fact that your brother is hurt, Leo is off pouting about it!"

"I guess you're right." Donnie sighed.

"Yeah." Casey commented.

Mikey remained quiet, but he got up and pulled the sheet back that separated Raph from the rest of the room and walked in putting the sheet back again.

"Raphie?" Mikey said not really expecting an answer. He knew his injuries were serious and Master Splinter had said it would be some time before Raph woke up. "Well I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'm gonna say this anyways. I really am mad at you. I really, really want to hate you, but...but I just can't. You're my big brother and I love you. It wasn't until you left, then came back, and then got hurt for me to realize that I still do. I don't know what it was that made me realize this, but just at the thought that you might not wake up scared me. I didn't want to lose you. And when you left I thought I didn't love you anymore, but now that I see you like this...and that the I might lose you," Mikey's voice started to crack as tears welled up in his eyes,"I just got this feeling. It wasn't hatred, but something else. And I know that even though you did leave, you came back for us. And I love you, bro. And I really hope that you can hear me because I don't know if I'll be able to go on if you die thinking that I didn't love you because I do. Raph I really do love you. And you can't die because then who is gonna keep me in check when I screw off? Who is gonna slap me around when I lose focus? Raphael you can't die, you hear me? You just can't we need you. I need you. I know you can pull through this, you are the strongest person I know. The team won't be complete without you." At this Mikey grabbed Raph's hand,"You hear me Raph? You gotta fight to stay alive just like you have all these years and come back to us. I love you man and I need my big brother. Raphie I forgive you for breaking your promise. I don't care if you left I just want you back. You came back before and I know you can again. Come on, please. I love you Raphie." By the time Mikey finished he had tears streaming down his face uncontrollably and he didn't care, all he wanted was his big brother back.

Mikey stayed with Raph for a while and let himself calm down. He didn't want the others to see him like this. When he finally walked out the others looked up at him, but didn't say anything. Mikey went and sat back down where he was before and everyone returned to staring at the ground quietly. After a while Leo walked in. Everyone looked at him questionably, but he didn't say anything. Leo just walked to the farthest corner of the room and sat down and appeared to fall asleep. He didn't pay any attention the curtained off area.

**I know it was a little late, but I needed some time to figure out what I wanted to do in this chapter. I hope you all liked it and I must admit I got a little emotional writing about Mikey talking to Raph. I hope to put up the next chapter (and the last chapter) tomorrow, but I heavenly exactly stuck to what I've said lol. Thanks for reading and please ****review.**


	14. Chapter 14: Four Brothers

**I'm sorry about the weird time lapses, but I wanted these events to happen at these times and I didn't have anything to put in-between them. Hope you enjoy the final chapter!**

_**(Two days after Mikey talked to Raph)**_

The past two days have gone on without anything interesting happening. Splinter checked on Raph's vitals and changed his bandages as needed. Mikey seemed a little more upbeat, barely. He wasn't as touchy if the subject came to Raphael as he once had been. Donnie was still quiet and uncertain about what to do with his time. Leo was hardly ever around, it seemed like he only came back to eat and sleep. Other than those few times, he spent away, from what seemed to be the new lair, doing who knows what. He hardly spoke to anyone. Casey and April came in regularly and supported the family as much as they could.

One time after Splinter checked on Raph, Donnie got a look at his brother for the first time in two days. At the sight of him, what April had said before went through his head. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should be more sensitive to Raph's situation. He then felt this strange feeling to go and see him. He got up and sat next to his older brother. He sat there for a while without speaking just looking at Raph. He took in every cut, every bruise, every stitch. Immediately he felt ashamed. He was mad at his brother who risked his life to save them and ended up unconscious barely holding on to his life. Donnie noted how every breath seemed to be hard on his brother.

"I'm so sorry." Donnie started. He didn't know why he was talking because he knew his brother wouldn't be able to hear him, but he continued anyways. "Yeah, you left, but in the end you came back when we needed you. I know you thought you were leaving for a good reason, but it wasn't. I think even you knew that, but I can't blame you. You always acted on impulse, you never really think much." Donnie chuckled at this, "When you left I didn't think I would care so much. You were my brother, but we never had a super close relationship. When you were gone though, I realized that we had to have had because you don't feel this way when someone you only mildly care about leaves. I felt terrible, I never left my lab. I guess I subconsciously hoped that if I lost myself in my work then the it wouldn't hurt that bad. But it only made it worse because with very invention I would think that Mikey would wanna play with it and then he would test it on you, but then I would remember that you weren't there. It made inventing things and thinking about anything harder. I knew you weren't there and I just wish you were. I really missed you. I am so glad you came back, but now I don't even know if you will ever be able to hear my apology or how grateful I am that you rescued us. Raph I love you." With this Donnie reached over and squeezed his brother's hand and got up and walked out. As he closed the curtain, he felt relieved. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulders and he was grateful for it. He smiled as he walked over and ate dinner.

* * *

><p><em><strong>(Two weeks later) <strong>_**  
><strong>

Leonardo was angry at his brother still. At least he thought he was. He would stare at the curtain wondering what Raph's condition was, but he never looked. Master Splinter had said he was improving, but barely and that there was a chance he still wouldn't make it. Apparently the shredder really gave him a beating. Leo knew that this should make him sad, maybe even mad, but he was only mad at Raph. Raph brought this on himself, it's his fault that Shredder found them and that Raph got hurt. Right?

One night when every one was asleep, Leo got up to go for a run. But instead of running he found his legs carrying him to the curtain that seperated Raph from the rest of the world. He pulled back the curtain and stepped behind it. When he saw his little brother for the first time in almost three weeks he gasped. Raph was almost completely cover in bandages. Where he wasn't patched up, were bruises and cuts. Leo couldn't believe this, he had no idea how bad he was and the truth shocked him. This happened to his brother because he came back to save Leo, Donnie, Mikey, and Master Splinter. Leo sat down next to Raph and grabbed his hand. "Raph," Leo began, but could already feel a lump in his throat, "Oh Raph." he croaked."What have you done this time? You just can't stay out of trouble can you? I know I've been a jerk ever since you got back, but I was so angry and I still am. At first I thought I was angry at you for leaving, but I'm not. I mad at myself. I can't help but blame myself for you leaving. I thought I should have been a better leader, a better brother. I should have been more understanding and patient. And now that I realize this I'll probably never be able to get a second chance. I should have seen Rahzar follow me. I should have stopped you from leaving, but man, you left without warning. You didn't show any signs that you were _that _angry, or maybe you did and I just didn't see." Leo said shaking his head. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of his eyes, "But none of that matters anymore. What matters is what happens from here on out...and you might not see it. Raphael you need to pull through this. The thought of you dying makes me sick and I can't bare that feeling." Leo had tears streaming down his face now as waves of bottled up emotions washed over him. "Raph you're my little brother and I need you. Without you I don't know what I would do and I don't even wanna think about what I would do. I couldn't live with myself knowing that you died saving me and I never said thank you, or apologized, or never got to say that I love you one last time. Raph you need to pull through this, for me, for Mikey, for Donnie, for Master Splinter, for April and Casey, but most importantly, for you. You need to hear what I have to say. You need to live so you can accomplish more. You have a life ahead of you and I promise I will be with you the whole time. Just hold on. I know you can. Raph please. I forgive you, I'm sorry, I love you. You're my brother and I love you and I need you. You make me a better leader an a better brother. Cause face it, if I can handle you, I can handle anything." Leo managed a laugh. "Raph please, please." Leo looked at his brother half hoping he would wake up or move just a little, but of course he remained still. Leo got up and took one last look at his brother before wiping his tears and turning away. As Leo reached for the curtain he felt something grab his hand. Leo turned around to see Raph's hand in his.

"Raph?" Leo whispered. His brothers eyes fluttered open and Raph manged a faint smile. And gently pulled on his brother's hand and sat up pulling Leo in for a hug. "Raph!" Leo claimed louder. This must have woken up his brothers because the curtain was thrown back to reveal Donnie and Mikey.

"Raphie!" Mikey exclaimed tackling Raph in hug, who was still in an embrace with Leo. Donnie followed Mikey and the turtles all held each other.

"I missed you guys." Raph whispered. "I should have never left. It was a stupid mistake and I swear it will never happen again. I don't know what I was thinking, but my thoughts are clear now. I'm not going to lose you guys again. I love you guys." Raph said squeezing his brothers even harder.

The four brothers remained like this for a while. They were all content to be in each others' arms after so long of being apart. In the past weeks they had lost their home, their brother, and their bond. But now in that moment they knew they would never leave each other or hate each other. they would remain brothers and nothing would ever change that.

**Well there it is. I hope you all enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it. Also for every one who followed and favorited and reviewed and just reading thank you so much. It made writing that much better to know that there were people who really liked it.**

**Also I am going to start another story also a TMNT one. I got the idea while writing this. Quick synopsis: This girl gets hit with mutagen and can transform into any animal, and then she meets the turtles and ****everyone. If you want, check it out it's gonna be called _Family is Not Just Blood_. **

**Thanks again for reading! **


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